Some say we based our terms and conditions on these rules! I will have you know that this is an outright lie! The Ferengi based their rules on our terms and conditions!
- Once you have their money … never give it back.
- Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
- Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
- A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. (From Enterprise,
episode “Acquisition”; sloppy script-writing, as rule 6 (see above) was already
given in DS9)
- Keep your ears open.
- Small print leads to large risk.
- Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
- Greed is eternal.
- Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
- A deal is a deal … until a better one comes along.
- A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
- A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
- Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
- Never place friendship above profit.
- A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
- Nothing is more important than your health–except for your money.
- There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
- Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother … insult something he cares
- It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
- Peace is good for business.
- War is good for business.
- She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
- Profit is its own reward.
- Never confuse wisdom with luck.
- Expand, or die.
- Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
- The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
- Never ask when you can take.
- Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them.
- There is no substitute for success.
- Free advice is seldom cheap.
- Keep your lies consistent.
- The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
- Win or lose, there’s always Hyperian beetle snuff.
- Home is where the heart is … but the stars are made of latinum.
- Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of
- Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
- The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
- Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.
- Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for
- Females and finances don’t mix.
- Enough … is never enough.
- Trust is the biggest liability of all.
- Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
- Sleep can interfere with profit. (DS9 season 2, episode 7 –
“Rules of Acquisition”)
- Faith moves mountains … of inventory.
- There is no honour in poverty.
- Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
- Treat people in your debt like family … exploit them.
- Never have sex with the boss’s sister.
- Always have sex with the boss.
- You can’t free a fish from water.
- Everything is for sale, even friendship.
- Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
- Wives serve, brothers inherit.
- Only fools pay retail.
- There’s nothing wrong with charity … as long as it winds up in
- Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
- Know your enemies … but do business with them always.
- Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
- Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
- Never cheat a Klingon … unless you’re sure you can get away with
- It’s always good business to know about new customers before they
walk in the door.
- The justification for profit is profit.
- New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be
succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
- Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to
step on them.
- Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
- Always know what you’re buying.
- Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox.
- Latinum lasts longer than lust.
- You can’t buy fate.
- Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
- More is good … all is better.
- A wife is a luxury … a smart accountant is a necessity.
- A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
- Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
- When in doubt, lie.
- Deep down everyone’s a Ferengi.
- No good deed ever goes unpunished.
- [Quark’s rule] When Morn leaves, it’s all over.